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Home » Addressing mental stress: How HR and managers conduct conversations safely

Addressing mental stress: How HR and managers conduct conversations safely

July 9, 20268 Mins Read Finance
Addressing mental stress: How HR and managers conduct conversations safely
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Mental health doesn’t stop at the office door. Psychological stress is one of the most common causes of sickness-related absences in Germany, as health insurance reports regularly show. In addition, there is probably a high number of unreported cases. Because many crises remain hidden and still have an impact on performance and the culture in the company.

HR managers and managers know this. They are often the first to notice that something is wrong. The person who suddenly withdraws from meetings. The colleague who was always reliable and is now missing deadlines. The employee who reacts increasingly irritably to questions.

And yet managers and HR often leave these situations uncommented because the uncertainty is too great: Am I even allowed to address this? Am I responsible? Only then does the second question arise: How do I address this without hurting or being invasive? This article gives tips for exactly these situations and shows how HR and managers can address mental health among their employees.

The responsibility of HR and managers and their limits

The Occupational Safety and Health Act provides a clear framework: In Germany, employers are legally obliged to protect their employees not only from physical but also from psychological risks. Section 5 of the ArbSchG states that psychological stress at work is considered a risk. HR must therefore create structures that identify stress at an early stage and reduce it effectively.

But despite all the responsibility, the following also applies: HR is not a therapeutic service, and managers are not psychologists. It is all the more important to set these boundaries when a situation is no longer technically or emotionally bearable on your own. This means: refer those affected, call in external experts and at the same time keep your own well-being in mind.

How do I recognize mental stress?

One of the strongest signals of mental stress is a change in behavior. If someone has always been rather quiet, that’s not a warning sign. If someone suddenly withdraws from the team, yes.

Typical warning signs are:

  • Sudden changes in work behavior: frequent delays, fluctuations in performance, difficulty meeting deadlines
  • Unusual social behavior: Irritability, withdrawal, conflicts with colleagues or avoiding meetings and joint activities
  • Physical signals: Visible exhaustion, frequent complaints of sleep problems, headaches or back pain
  • Changes in external appearancewhich cannot be explained in any other way – for example, neglected hygiene, unwashed or unkempt appearance, dirty clothes.

None of these signs allow a diagnosis, that’s not the point. It’s about being attentive, recognizing the first signs and then seeking conversation.

How do I address it? The HELP concept as a structured framework

The German company health insurance company has developed a concept that supports managers and HR managers in precisely these situations: the HILFE concept. The five letters stand for a sequence that builds on one another:

H – Look: Actively perceive changes in behavior and do not ignore them. The conversation should be sought as early as possible. The longer you wait, the harder it is for those affected to accept help.

I – Take initiative: Approach the person affected again about changes if the situation does not improve and discuss solutions for the work situation together. The focus is on available resources: What has already helped in similar situations? What internal support offers are there?

L – perform management function: In the event of a prolonged crisis, agree on specific work goals and clearly state the expectation that the employee will receive supportive measures or treatment.

F – Leadership responsibility: Support and challenge: Maintaining a balance between patience, understanding and caring on the one hand and sticking to performance requirements on the other. Continue to take those affected seriously as full employees.

E – Call in experts: Refer to internal contact points, such as the company doctor, works or staff council, BEM team (person responsible for company integration management), or involve external support, such as mental health platforms with access to psychologists or social psychiatric services.

What should HR and managers pay attention to in discussions?

In conversations about psychological stress, it’s less about perfect wording than it is about having the right basic attitude. Some principles are particularly useful:

  • Rely on observations, do not express diagnoses. Instead of saying, “I think you’re burned out,” say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve become very withdrawn in the last few weeks and are often turning in assignments late.”
  • Clearly identify care. A sentence like “I’m bringing this up because your well-being is important to me” makes it clear that this is not a disciplinary conversation. That changes the entire atmosphere.
  • Take voluntariness seriously. The person concerned decides for themselves how much they want to share. Pressuring employees to talk about their health condition only leads to a loss of trust and further withdrawal.
  • Offer concrete support. Actively point out existing offers, for example the opportunity to have confidential one-on-one conversations with psychological professionals that are anonymously accessible to employees.

Here too, it is important that HR managers and managers know the limits well. For example, questions should not be asked about medical details that are not relevant to employment law, and HR and managers should not take on a permanent pastoral role. Mental illnesses must neither become a criterion for hiring or firing nor be discussed in the team without the express consent of the person concerned.

Four situations from everyday work

The following four situations arise again and again in the everyday life of HR and managers. For each there are tried and tested approaches and concrete formulations that have proven themselves in practice.

Case 1: Conflicts in the team

If a conflict arises within the team, the manager or HR should proactively approach the employees involved. The conversation should never take place spontaneously or between people, but rather at a time agreed in advance. I-messages help not to build up fronts. If the manager himself is part of the conflict, neutral moderation is required.

The start could look like this, for example:

  • “I noticed that collaboration in the team seemed more tense recently. What do you notice yourself?”
  • “I want to understand how you experience the situation without placing blame.”

Case 2: Altered communication and irritability

This scenario is tricky because in many cases the behavior directly affects the manager or HR. It helps to remember that irritability is a common symptom of overwork, not a reflection of ill will. The same applies here: In the conversation, observations should be discussed and no accusations should be made:

  • “You were very loud in the meeting yesterday. I don’t know that about you at all. What hit you so bad?”
  • “I see that the topic is on your mind right now. Do you want to talk about it? How can we still focus on the next concrete step?”

Case 3: Frequent failures with vague reasons

If employees are often absent and the reasons seem evasive, this is a signal that the person concerned may be under stress. However, bringing this up can lead to distrust and a defensive reaction. This makes it all the more important to prepare the conversation well and approach it with sensitivity. Possible questions include:

  • “I’ve noticed that you’ve been absent several times in the last few months. I’m concerned and want to understand if there’s anything we can improve in the work environment.”
  • “Is there something that’s bothering you right now? Even outside of work, if you want to talk about it.”

Case 4: Loss of performance for no apparent reason

When performance drops due to mental stress, managers and HR managers often wait too long. It is worth addressing this observation early and appreciatively. The WWW method is well suited for this: describe perceptions, describe effects, express wishes and formulate all of this as “I” messages:

  • “I’ve noticed that in the last few weeks you’ve been leaving tasks behind more often and have become noticeably quieter in meetings. I don’t know that from you. Are you okay?”
  • “I’m honestly worried. Is there something bothering you right now?”
  • “Is there anything you can or would like to change yourself? Or would it be helpful to involve someone to provide support from outside?”

Addressing mental stress does not have to mean crossing boundaries

Addressing mental health in a team feels like crossing the line for many managers and HR managers. The opposite is true: looking and taking the first step before someone fails completely is one of the most effective forms of care a company can provide.

Nobody has to find the right words right away. Nobody has to communicate clinically perfectly. But it is the responsibility of HR and managers to prepare well for such conversations, to communicate with genuine appreciation and to respect both their own boundaries and those of the person concerned.

Everything on topic

HR – Mental stark!

How can HR strengthen the mental health of employees and themselves? Dr. Katharina Koch, Head of Psychology at nilo, gives tips and inspiration for everyday work in her monthly column.

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